Tag Archives: Since feeling is first

A hand holding out an apple

My Emotional Masochism Isn’t Therapy

A hand holding out an apple

Last week, guest blogger Cava Supernova asked, provocatively, “Is racism sexy?” She told us the story of an early kink encounter in which an awesome black man begged her to call him her nigger and her sex slave boy. This out-of-the-blue request floored poor Cava and she asked us to help her figure it out. […]

Statue of kneeling woman arranging her hair

Submissive Power Is Hot Stuff

Statue of kneeling woman arranging her hair

This is the second post in the Submissive Power series. It is a cliché that the sub has all the “real” power. And I really, really hope it’s not true. Yes, I can stop it any minute and yes, hotel security is a lot more likely to help me than him. (Apologies for non-inclusive language; […]

Portrait of King Henry VII

Condescension, or Kindness from Above

Portrait of King Henry VII

I remember the day my first dom taught me to beg. My initial attempts were ludicrous. “Please, sir …” Frantic mental efforts, not aided by his casually travelling hands. “You’re … very strong …” I remember the moment when his gigantic brain figured out that I didn’t even know how to do it. He stopped, […]

A fiery background seen through a heart shape

Gasp, Shake, Thank You

A fiery background seen through a heart shape

This post is about me being hurt and frightened. Intensely. It made me very happy. But if it might bother you, please feel free to have some utterly misnamed Good Clean Fun instead. Negotiation: He leans back against the pillows. I perch opposite, bolt upright. It feels like lying every time I don’t call him […]

Gingerbread man lowering another gingerbread man into toaster

Diabolical Genius, or I Love Interrogation

Gingerbread man lowering another gingerbread man into toaster

This post is part of the Eek! series. Also an e[lust] top three pick! Eric Pride is the devil. And a prince of tact. Um. Let me backtrack. I recently volunteered to help with Eric Pride’s interrogation class. I know nothing about interrogation, but this was not a problem, because I was to be the […]

Hands making a heart around baby feet

Abject Submission 3: Only the Gift

Hands making a heart around baby feet

This post is part of the Is It Bad for Me? series. You may wish to begin with Part 1. As you know, a few weeks ago I was frightened by my kink. I already knew I had been eroticising my depression last year – we emotional masochists are capable of amazing feats – but now I wondered if I had […]

Man struggling with tied wrists

Dark Erotica Fail

Man struggling with tied wrists

This post is part of the Is It Bad for Me? series. You may wish to begin with Part 1. After reading my last post about stories that do it for me, a friend asked, “What about Abuse → No rescue → Happy ending? Doesn’t that storyline exist?” In a way, yes. And some people love […]

Statue of naked supine woman and winged, clawed demon crouched on her

Abject Submission 2: Lit Survey

Statue of naked supine woman and winged, clawed demon crouched on her

This post is part of the Is It Bad for Me? series. You may wish to begin with Part 1. As you know, I have started to worry whether my kink of abject submission is really about self-injury. Fiction proved to be such a good window into my fears that I decided to look harder at […]

Backlit knife behind a curtain

Abject Submission 1: Is it bad for me?

Backlit knife behind a curtain

This post is Part 1 of the Is It Bad for Me? series. I am shaken. So far, all the the shame and guilt you’ve seen in this blog should really have been in the past tense. I knew people needed to hear my stories, so I told them, but after sixteen years you do get […]