Tag Archives: Relationships

Ginger tabby kitten holding green rug

Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 2

Ginger tabby kitten holding green rug

Last time I told you about my feline identity crisis. I was afraid I wasn’t a kitten. Actually, it was worse than that. I was afraid I’d never been a kitten at all. Yes, I had done a lot of meowing and fun dashing around and studious ignoring of so-called rules. But observing myself post-breakup, […]

Little African girl in headscarf laughs and covers her face

Communicating While Submissive

Little African girl in headscarf laughs and covers her face

Originally written for Submissive Guide. Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to say it. And you never have to compromise the message. Here is […]

Green leaf in palm of black-and-white hand

Submissive Strength: Contradiction or Koan?

Green leaf in palm of black-and-white hand

This is the fourth post in the Submissive Power series. Recently Valery North paid me the gigantic compliment of a critical response to my blog post about submissive strength. I came away wondering if I had contradicted myself. But dammit, I know everything I said was true! And then. I realised. These apparent contradictions, they’re […]

Blonde girl bowing

Protocols. I Want.

Blonde girl bowing

I love protocols. Do you want me to call you sir? Yes sir! (And apologies for the non-inclusive language, ma’am!) Do you want me on the floor? Prod me till I get the position right, please? Do you want me to heel you, or forget the word ‘but’, or owe every morsel of food to […]

Fire-eater

Pain Is a Battering Bastard … And More (Part 2)

Fire-eater

To recap part 1 of this post: (1) Chronic pain can make even a masochist feel trapped in her body. (2) It’s just like the way my ex-dom and I felt locked in a miserable relationship. I may even have gotten all of my mixed metaphors into this tweet: I am SO GRATEFUL I’m finally […]

Hand clutching fence

Pain Is a Battering Bastard … And More (Part 1)

Hand clutching fence

Once upon a time my dom was nursing me through some truly horrific cramps. I was not very lucid. A particularly vicious cramp took me by surprise, and I found myself whimpering our safeword. I will never forget the look on his face. To cheer us both up, he told me that I had a […]