What is BDSM?

Traffic sign: Welcome to Newbie. Please drive carefully.
Image courtesy of Anne (CC BY‑NC‑ND 2.0).

BDSM is short for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism.

If all this is new to you, I recommend starting here:

And that’s the essentials covered. See you next week!

Still here? Good for you.

First, caveats. Please don’t try to get your basic introduction from this blog – that’s not what I do. Also, the following recommendations are in draft form – when I’m more sure of them I’ll turn them into a post.

Ahem.

Further reading

If you’re ready to educate yourself a bit more seriously, you’ll find that the Internet is strangely patchy. There is no substitute for a book.

These are the classics. Unfortunately, I have issues with all those that I’ve read. My grounds are fluff, one-true-way-ism, or insufficient ethical humility. (I know, who’s talking about humility?)

The good news is that we are experiencing a great flowering of kinky publishing. I have minor issues with these two new books, but they are really good on the whole.

As a second-best option, you can pick up a lot in passing from these websites:

  • My blogging community – They take it to the next level. But for a more practical and education-oriented approach, try Dominant Guide and Submissive Guide instead.
  • FetLife.com – Facebook for kinksters. Free membership gives you access to everything except videos. There are discussion groups where subs, doms, veterans and medical types will answer your questions (not always accurately or politely). For privacy, you can input your birthday as 1921 and your location as Antarctica. See also the Safety section below.

Ready for real live people?

Everyone recommends munches (no-pressure, no-kink gatherings). Find one at Findamunch.com or FetLife.com > Events > Near Me. Then learn your munch etiquette. See also the Safety section below.

Safety

If you’re trying to convert a loved one, see if these look helpful:

Have fun, never give up on yourself, and don’t do anything you don’t want to!

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http://www.scarleteen.com/
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Warning: This website discusses BDSM, rape, abuse and other disturbing content.

I recommend Scarleteen for honest sex education.

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