Category Archives: How to do it

Little African girl in headscarf laughs and covers her face

Communicating While Submissive

Little African girl in headscarf laughs and covers her face

Originally written for Submissive Guide. Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to say it. And you never have to compromise the message. Here is […]

Superman toy eye-to-eye with rubber chicken

You Want Reactions? (Part 1)

Superman toy eye-to-eye with rubber chicken

The number one top complaint is definitely “I can’t read your mind!” But it gets stiff competition from its close cousin: “Give me real reactions, dammit!” This I can sympathise with. Scening is all about what’s going on in the bottom’s head. Me and my kind naturally have privileged access to this contested territory, but […]

Fountain pen resting on yellowed letter

First Contact: A Sort‑of‑Guest Post

Fountain pen resting on yellowed letter

Irregular updates from now on. Sorry, real life comes first! If you hang out with female kinksters, then you’ve heard us complain about the messages we get from strange men. They’re not all awful. But the net badness corrodes the soul. There are very few things that help: Venting with other kinky women. Talking to […]

A fiery background seen through a heart shape

Gasp, Shake, Thank You

A fiery background seen through a heart shape

This post is about me being hurt and frightened. Intensely. It made me very happy. But if it might bother you, please feel free to have some utterly misnamed Good Clean Fun instead. Negotiation: He leans back against the pillows. I perch opposite, bolt upright. It feels like lying every time I don’t call him […]