Many candle flames

e[lust] #76 – Sex After Birth

Many candle flames

Welcome to Elust #76 – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust.

Want to be included in Elust #75? Start with the rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

– This Month’s Top Three Posts –

Sex and the post-birth vagina
Lonely Things
Just the two of us

– Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) –

Tiny, shiny, bity snaps of steel…
I have fallen in and out of love with myself

– Readers Choice from Sexbytes

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

I had An Abortion

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

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Ginger tabby kitten holding green rug

Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 2

Ginger tabby kitten holding green rug

Last time I told you about my feline identity crisis. I was afraid I wasn’t a kitten.

Actually, it was worse than that. I was afraid I’d never been a kitten at all.

Yes, I had done a lot of meowing and fun dashing around and studious ignoring of so-called rules. But observing myself post-breakup, and remembering myself at the very beginning … I had to face it. I wasn’t a feline brat.

The real me faced power on her hands and knees and face, trembling with awe, aching with gratitude. Apprehensive and apologetic if she brought a mug when asked for a glass. Shocked that the further she went down the rabbit hole, the more she wanted, the safer she felt. The happier I was.

I wasn’t a brat. I didn’t want to be a brat. And yet I had been.

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Alert silver tabby kitten

Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 1

Alert silver tabby kitten

One day a kitten said to a kitten owner, “I wish I had a tail. But unfortunately I think I’m a Manx kitten.”

Said he, “You can have a tail!”

“But I want the kind of tail that the incredibly vain dog has in one of J.K. Rowling’s favourite books. It’s like an ostrich plume and it waves like a pennant and the fine hairs scintillate in the sunlight. And [sniffle] I don’t think cats can have tails like that.”

“You can have an ostrich-plume tail! And we can say that it’s an ostrich plume that has been passed down through a long line of famous cabaret-dancing kittens.”


“Yes! But be careful. Or people might figure out that,” and his voice dropped to a dreadful whisper, “it’s not a real tail!”

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Little African girl in headscarf laughs and covers her face

Communicating While Submissive

Little African girl in headscarf laughs and covers her face
Originally written for Submissive Guide.

Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear.

The good news is that there is always a submissive way to say it. And you never have to compromise the message. Here is what I wish I’d known ten years ago.

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Statue of angel against sunset

Sub Ethics: Owning Our Power

Statue of angel against sunset
This is the fifth post in the Submissive Power series.

Once upon a time there was a play-fight, and I was pinned. In my total inexperience, I shoved my elbow backwards, and hey presto, there was a long man on the floor.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or to panic. It didn’t help when he began to wheeze. “What — you just hit — is called — the — solar plexus.” Then he patted me comfortingly. I think it was about half an hour later that he finally managed to stand up.

Poor man. I had no idea I could floor him. But in that moment of ignorance, I could have bruised his heart. (Literally.)

That’s what submissive ethics means to me. That however powerless I think I am, my actions actually can hurt others, including the dom at whose feet I’m kneeling. And I have to try extra hard to remember that, because submissive power can be so hard to see.

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Old trophies and old book

Leather Writing Awards 2015

Old trophies and old book
This announcement is old (20 April), but I thought you might appreciate a linked version. The 👍 emoji indicates finalists, the ? emoji winners. Enjoy!


(Columbus, OH) — National Leather Association – International (NLA-I), a leading organization for activists in the pansexual SM/leather/fetish community, announced today the semi-finalists for its annual writing awards. Named after activists and writers Geoff Mains, John Preston, Pauline Reage, Cynthia Slater, and the groundbreaking organization Samois, they are awarded annually to recognize excellence in writing and publishing about Leather, SM, bondage and fetishes.

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Fox looking up at a human

How to Apologise When You’re Called Out

Fox looking up at a human

Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good day – until 6.20pm.

Man on the street: Hello.

[He gets a stare compounded of fury and trauma.]

Him: Is something wrong?

Me: You’re the second guy on the street who’s said hello to me today. And it doesn’t feel good.

That was the low point of the day. And then the world shifted.

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Warning: This website discusses BDSM, rape, abuse and other disturbing content.

I recommend Scarleteen for honest sex education.

Enter Exit