Fountain pen resting on yellowed letter

First Contact: A Sort‑of‑Guest Post

Fountain pen resting on yellowed letter

Irregular updates from now on. Sorry, real life comes first! If you hang out with female kinksters, then you’ve heard us complain about the messages we get from strange men. They’re not all awful. But the net badness corrodes the soul. There are very few things that help: Venting with other kinky women. Talking to […]

Blonde girl bowing

Protocols. I Want.

Blonde girl bowing

I love protocols. Do you want me to call you sir? Yes sir! (And apologies for the non-inclusive language, ma’am!) Do you want me on the floor? Prod me till I get the position right, please? Do you want me to heel you, or forget the word ‘but’, or owe every morsel of food to […]

Cartoon of grey wolf

Rape Play Is Not Rape: Guest Post by Dr. Slut

Cartoon of grey wolf

The inimitable Dr. Slut returns! Today she tells us more about one of her favourite things: not-rape. Trigger warning: rape role-play, sexual trauma, swords. The idea that a guy might beg his tormentor to stop whipping and flogging him even though he was, in some complicated way enjoying it, is so intuitively built into BDSM […]

A prostrate Tigger offering a candy cane in both front paws

Top Trust: Guest Post by Dr. Slut

A prostrate Tigger offering a candy cane in both front paws

Today’s guest post is about why I am possibly an ethical top’s second-worst nightmare. Ouch. Trigger warning: Rape role-play, pushing boundaries, hardcore knives. We’re so used to talking about bottoms trusting tops. It seems so obvious: if you’re going to let somebody beat you up, stab you with needles, shove a fist up your ass, […]

Silhouette of a horned, bearded man against a lake of fire

When a Dom Drops Hard: Guest Post by Cowhideman

Silhouette of a horned, bearded man against a lake of fire

Today’s guest blogger is Cowhideman, the patient and prolific leader of FetLife’s Novices & Newbies group (login required). Crucially for us, he’s also brave enough to talk about the glory and horror of topspace. Enjoy! In a recent discussion thread, someone mentioned that their relatively novice Dom has suddenly shut down and very nearly stopped […]