Dammit. Everything I said in my post on Jian Ghomeshi is true. But anger is not the way. People I respect have told me to try and hear others’ needs and wants instead. But dammit, this one is a sociopath! Ego, charm, obliviousness, contempt – I’m not a mental health professional, but I’ve never seen […]
Jian Ghomeshi. The name makes me so angry. You say to your colleague, “I want to hate-fuck you,” and then you claim you’ve been fired for Safe Sane Consensual? You’re a professional communicator and somehow your partners keep walking into your home unaware that you’re going to whack their heads and choke them unconscious?
The inimitable Dr. Slut returns! Today she tells us more about one of her favourite things: not-rape. Trigger warning: rape role-play, sexual trauma, swords. The idea that a guy might beg his tormentor to stop whipping and flogging him even though he was, in some complicated way enjoying it, is so intuitively built into BDSM […]
Today’s guest post is about why I am possibly an ethical top’s second-worst nightmare. Ouch. Trigger warning: Rape role-play, pushing boundaries, hardcore knives. We’re so used to talking about bottoms trusting tops. It seems so obvious: if you’re going to let somebody beat you up, stab you with needles, shove a fist up your ass, […]
Today’s guest blogger is Cowhideman, the patient and prolific leader of FetLife’s Novices & Newbies group (login required). Crucially for us, he’s also brave enough to talk about the glory and horror of topspace. Enjoy! In a recent discussion thread, someone mentioned that their relatively novice Dom has suddenly shut down and very nearly stopped […]
I asked david stein if this important essay has been posted anywhere outside FetLife, and he promptly gave me permission to repost it here.I don’t deserve the honour. This is the man who originated “Safe, Sane and Consensual” and much more.But let’s seize the chance to read the essay here and now, before I manage […]