Category Archives: Safety & Ethics

Cartoon of grey wolf

Rape Play Is Not Rape: Guest Post by Dr. Slut

Cartoon of grey wolf

The inimitable Dr. Slut returns! Today she tells us more about one of her favourite things: not-rape. Trigger warning: rape role-play, sexual trauma, swords. The idea that a guy might beg his tormentor to stop whipping and flogging him even though he was, in some complicated way enjoying it, is so intuitively built into BDSM […]

A prostrate Tigger offering a candy cane in both front paws

Top Trust: Guest Post by Dr. Slut

A prostrate Tigger offering a candy cane in both front paws

Today’s guest post is about why I am possibly an ethical top’s second-worst nightmare. Ouch. Trigger warning: Rape role-play, pushing boundaries, hardcore knives. We’re so used to talking about bottoms trusting tops. It seems so obvious: if you’re going to let somebody beat you up, stab you with needles, shove a fist up your ass, […]

Silhouette of a horned, bearded man against a lake of fire

When a Dom Drops Hard: Guest Post by Cowhideman

Silhouette of a horned, bearded man against a lake of fire

Today’s guest blogger is Cowhideman, the patient and prolific leader of FetLife’s Novices & Newbies group (login required). Crucially for us, he’s also brave enough to talk about the glory and horror of topspace. Enjoy! In a recent discussion thread, someone mentioned that their relatively novice Dom has suddenly shut down and very nearly stopped […]

Gingerbread man cheerfully grating another gingerbread man

What Would Eric Pride Do?

Gingerbread man cheerfully grating another gingerbread man

This post is part of the Eek! series. As you may recall, I recently volunteered to demo bottom for an interrogation class by that diabolical genius, Eric Pride. En route to negotiation, knowing I was nervous, he casually mentioned some terrifying implements of pain. Then he stepped back to better enjoy my reaction. The man […]

A hand offered palm-up

Consent Alone Is Not Enough: Guest Post by david stein

A hand offered palm-up

I asked david stein if this important essay has been posted anywhere outside FetLife, and he promptly gave me permission to repost it here.I don’t deserve the honour. This is the man who originated “Safe, Sane and Consensual” and much more.But let’s seize the chance to read the essay here and now, before I manage […]