Someone asked on Twitter about what motivates 24/7 subs. The replies went like this: Safety; Freedom from control, responsibility; Order, instruction, framework, accountability; Being useful to someone else, greater purpose; Intimacy. For me? Firstly, this is not a choice. This is something I find myself doing automatically. And when someone else wants it too, it … Continue reading What motivates 24/7 submission?
Last week, guest blogger Cava Supernova asked, provocatively, “Is racism sexy?” She told us the story of an early kink encounter in which an awesome black man begged her to call him her nigger and her sex slave boy. This out-of-the-blue request floored poor Cava and she asked us to help her figure it out. … Continue reading My Emotional Masochism Isn’t Therapy
Argh. I’ve had it. It’s time for some definitions. Power = Ability to get what we want from others. Wants: Most obvious ≠ most important. Consent = The outcome of internal politics among our wants. That’s how dominant bottoms and masochistic doms can exist. Our wants may not line up tidily with the stereotypes, but … Continue reading Definitions, Dammit
This month the BDSM Classics Reading Group read The Story of O by Pauline Réage. Faced with the prospect of rereading it yet again, I groaned and went for background reading instead. And wow. Now I want to be Pauline Réage! One day a girl in love said to the man she loved: “I too … Continue reading The Love Letter of O
I love protocols. Do you want me to call you sir? Yes sir! (And apologies for the non-inclusive language, ma’am!) Do you want me on the floor? Prod me till I get the position right, please? Do you want me to heel you, or forget the word ‘but’, or owe every morsel of food to … Continue reading Protocols. I Want.
The inimitable Dr. Slut returns! Today she tells us more about one of her favourite things: not-rape. Trigger warning: rape role-play, sexual trauma, swords. The idea that a guy might beg his tormentor to stop whipping and flogging him even though he was, in some complicated way enjoying it, is so intuitively built into BDSM … Continue reading Rape Play Is Not Rape: Guest Post by Dr. Slut
Irregular updates from now on. And yes, that’s my calligraphy. You guys are amazing! Support came from everywhere – BDSM blogging friends, Blogging 201 classmates, WordPress staff and HostGator staff. I got scared after my last post, because Ferns alerted me to one of her old posts on the Domme Chronicles. It seems that last year … Continue reading Not Censored. Thank You Everyone!
I have moved my site to HostGator due to the problems described below. Please excuse the mess on this new site. Someone is trying to get me removed from WordPress.com! Shall I lie and say that I am all agog to find out if they succeed in getting me censored? To be honest, it seems very unlikely. … Continue reading Censored and Welcomed
“Help me, I’m Amanda Berry … I’ve been kidnapped, and I’ve been missing for ten years.” We all remember that 911 call last May. And then those terrible words in the news. Sex slavery. Chains, leashes. Torture. The stuff of our fantasies, now a spotlighted horrorhouse. It was so hard to hear about it. It … Continue reading Ariel Castro: The Psychopath in the Mirror?
As you may remember, I have no shame about being female and therefore in a position of weakness. Nor do I feel particularly bad about being submissive and therefore wanting some such predicaments. But my masochism? Let’s not talk about it. No. Let’s talk about it. Masochism has a bad name. To the observer – … Continue reading Let’s Talk About Masochism
My friends and I were not brought up to discuss sex, and so kink does not come up in conversation. But this has changed a little since I wrote my coming-out letter, because I have now come out to five more friends and one more brother (which is enough for now). As I expected, everyone was supportive. But … Continue reading Coming Out: The Sequel
BDSM: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. What does it feel like to need that kind of thing? One of my friends said, “It’s about fear, isn’t it?” Well, no, it’s not. I’m afraid of contact lenses and rollercoasters and they don’t do a thing for me. And I have been genuinely … Continue reading A Coming-Out Letter
