This is the fifth post in the Submissive Power series. Once upon a time there was a play-fight, and I was pinned. In my total inexperience, I shoved my elbow backwards, and hey presto, there was a long man on the floor. I didn’t know whether to laugh or to panic. It didn’t help when … Continue reading Sub Ethics: Owning Our Power
Last week, guest blogger Cava Supernova asked, provocatively, “Is racism sexy?” She told us the story of an early kink encounter in which an awesome black man begged her to call him her nigger and her sex slave boy. This out-of-the-blue request floored poor Cava and she asked us to help her figure it out. … Continue reading My Emotional Masochism Isn’t Therapy
When I started out on FetLife, I encountered a lot of Worrying Things. Like the hordes of people declaring themselves to be sapiosexuals. My prejudice against sapiosexuality may surprise you. After all, I threw myself at the smartest guy I ever met. He enjoyed using my mind as much as he did my body. Our … Continue reading Against Sapiosexual Pride
This is the third post in the Submissive Power series. I hate clichés. Especially the way they end up being true after you scoff because no one explains why. So it took three teachers to convince me that submission is about strength. Let’s call them Gypsy, Queenie and Rex. Gypsy did not really believe in … Continue reading Are You Strong Enough to Submit?
The number one top complaint is definitely “I can’t read your mind!” But it gets stiff competition from its close cousin: “Give me real reactions, dammit!” This I can sympathise with. Scening is all about what’s going on in the bottom’s head. Me and my kind naturally have privileged access to this contested territory, but … Continue reading You Want Reactions? (Part 1)
I started a BDSM classics reading group! People actually signed up and everything! Squee! Ahem. For our first meeting on 3rd September, we’re going to read seminal essays from the Safe Sane Consensual debate. Unsafe at Any Speed, or Safe, Sane, and Consensual, My Fanny by Laura Antoniou (1995) The SSC Mistake by Joseph W. Bean … Continue reading The Consent Debate: Then and Now
I asked david stein if this important essay has been posted anywhere outside FetLife, and he promptly gave me permission to repost it here.I don’t deserve the honour. This is the man who originated “Safe, Sane and Consensual” and much more.But let’s seize the chance to read the essay here and now, before I manage … Continue reading Consent Alone Is Not Enough: Guest Post by david stein
Today’s guest blogger is david stein, the gay slave who originated the phrase “Safe, Sane and Consensual” way back in the 1980s.(Brief recess to retrieve our jaws from the floor.)More recently, he authored the incredibly valuable non-fiction resource Ask the Man Who Owns Him: The real lives of gay Masters and slaves and the embarrassingly hot … Continue reading First, Do No Harm: Guest Post by david stein
I love the traditional tropes of BDSM and slave fic – melting the dom’s dom, rescuing the fragile abused slave, Evil Is Sexy, mmmmm. But I also love it when authors turn these tropes inside out. Here are my favourites of this kind, fan fiction and original work, free and paid. They’re all completed works … Continue reading Subverted Tropes: The Fiction of the Unexpected
