Irregular updates from now on. Sorry, real life comes first! If you hang out with female kinksters, then you’ve heard us complain about the messages we get from strange men. They’re not all awful. But the net badness corrodes the soul. There are very few things that help: Venting with other kinky women. Talking to … Continue reading First Contact: A Sort‑of‑Guest Post
I love protocols. Do you want me to call you sir? Yes sir! (And apologies for the non-inclusive language, ma’am!) Do you want me on the floor? Prod me till I get the position right, please? Do you want me to heel you, or forget the word ‘but’, or owe every morsel of food to … Continue reading Protocols. I Want.
I started a BDSM classics reading group! People actually signed up and everything! Squee! Ahem. For our first meeting on 3rd September, we’re going to read seminal essays from the Safe Sane Consensual debate. Unsafe at Any Speed, or Safe, Sane, and Consensual, My Fanny by Laura Antoniou (1995) The SSC Mistake by Joseph W. Bean … Continue reading The Consent Debate: Then and Now
Welcome to Elust #61 – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #62? Start with the rules, come back September 1st … Continue reading e[lust] #61 – Writing about Writing
This is the first blog post I’ve been able to write in a month! Hurray! I am so not the right person to write about polyamory. I wasn’t born that way, and I have no success stories to share (yet). I can tell you not to do it with someone who has communication paralysis, or … Continue reading A Love Poem for the Not‑So‑Polyamorous
The inimitable Dr. Slut returns! Today she tells us more about one of her favourite things: not-rape. Trigger warning: rape role-play, sexual trauma, swords. The idea that a guy might beg his tormentor to stop whipping and flogging him even though he was, in some complicated way enjoying it, is so intuitively built into BDSM … Continue reading Rape Play Is Not Rape: Guest Post by Dr. Slut
Today’s guest post is about an ethical top’s second-worst nightmare. Trigger warning: Rape role-play, pushing boundaries, hardcore knives. We’re so used to talking about bottoms trusting tops. It seems so obvious: if you’re going to let somebody beat you up, stab you with needles, shove a fist up your ass, whip you, dangle you by … Continue reading Top Trust: Guest Post by Dr. Slut
Today’s guest blogger is Cowhideman, the patient and prolific leader of FetLife’s Novices & Newbies group (login required). Crucially for us, he’s also brave enough to talk about the glory and horror of topspace. Enjoy! In a recent discussion thread, someone mentioned that their relatively novice Dom has suddenly shut down and very nearly stopped … Continue reading When a Dom Drops Hard: Guest Post by Cowhideman
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