You know there are people who say sadism and masochism are not about pain, they’re about extreme sensation? After long covid, I’m pretty sure which side of this debate I’m on. On days when I have a little more energy, I want to feel my head wrenched back by my hair, I want to struggle … Continue reading Kink, pain and extreme sensation
Last week, guest blogger Cava Supernova asked, provocatively, “Is racism sexy?” She told us the story of an early kink encounter in which an awesome black man begged her to call him her nigger and her sex slave boy. This out-of-the-blue request floored poor Cava and she asked us to help her figure it out. … Continue reading My Emotional Masochism Isn’t Therapy
Today my guest blogger is the outrageous and huggable Cava Supernova! She’s here to tell us about her younger self being being Dropped in the Deep End. “Call me your n****r. Go on, it gets me going. I want you to call me your n****r.” “Oh my god, no. I could never do that.” “It’s … Continue reading Guest Post: Is Racism Sexy?
This is the second post in the Submissive Power series. It is a cliché that the sub has all the “real” power. And I really, really hope it’s not true. Yes, I can stop it any minute and yes, hotel security is a lot more likely to help me than him. (Apologies for non-inclusive language; … Continue reading Submissive Power Is Hot Stuff
I remember the day my first dom taught me to beg. My initial attempts were ludicrous. “Please, sir …” Frantic mental efforts, not aided by his casually travelling hands. “You’re … very strong …” I remember the moment when his gigantic brain figured out that I didn’t even know how to do it. He stopped, … Continue reading Condescension, or Kindness from Above
15 July 2019: This top was later shown to have been abusing his slaves. In hindsight, it was a bad sign that I was safewording repeatedly during this scene. Luckily, I still enjoyed it overall. Original header: This post is about me being hurt and frightened. Intensely. It made me very happy. But if it … Continue reading Gasp, Shake, Thank You
Eric Pride has left the community in the wake of pro-consent movements, stating that we have started tearing each other apart instead of standing by each other. I’m sad that he is not who I thought he was. This post is part of the Eek! series. Also an e[lust] top three pick! Eric Pride is … Continue reading Diabolical Genius, or I Love Interrogation
This post is part of the Is It Bad for Me? series. You may wish to begin with Part 1. As you know, a few weeks ago I was frightened by my kink. I already knew I had been eroticising my depression last year – we emotional masochists are capable of amazing feats – but now I wondered if I had … Continue reading Abject Submission 3: Only the Gift
This post is part of the Is It Bad for Me? series. You may wish to begin with Part 1. After reading my last post about stories that do it for me, a friend asked, “What about Abuse → No rescue → Happy ending? Doesn’t that storyline exist?” In a way, yes. And some people love … Continue reading Dark Erotica Fail
This post is part of the Is It Bad for Me? series. You may wish to begin with Part 1. As you know, I have started to worry whether my kink of abject submission is really about self-injury. Fiction proved to be such a good window into my fears that I decided to look harder at … Continue reading Abject Submission 2: Lit Survey
This post is Part 1 of the Is It Bad for Me? series. I am shaken. So far, all the the shame and guilt you’ve seen in this blog should really have been in the past tense. I knew people needed to hear my stories, so I told them, but after sixteen years you do get … Continue reading Abject Submission 1: Is it bad for me?
As you may remember, I have no shame about being female and therefore in a position of weakness. Nor do I feel particularly bad about being submissive and therefore wanting some such predicaments. But my masochism? Let’s not talk about it. No. Let’s talk about it. Masochism has a bad name. To the observer – … Continue reading Let’s Talk About Masochism
There’s an ache in your chest that hits sometimes when you’re a sub without a dom. I mean a real, physical ache. You want to grovel, you want to be cared for, you want to be done to. It hurts like hell. This has been heartbreakingly documented by Unspeakable Axe, who truly deserves his happy … Continue reading The Submissive Ache: Wanting and Waiting
Eric Pride has left the community in the wake of pro-consent movements, stating that we have started tearing each other apart instead of standing by each other. I’m sad that he is not who I thought he was. Review of presentation: “Anatomy of a Play Scene” by Eric Pride (DomSubFriends at Paddles NYC, 21 Feb … Continue reading Review: “Anatomy of a Play Scene” by Eric Pride
One of my close friends is a sadist. Some of her favourite stories fall squarely into my definition of horror. She is also terminally warm-hearted. She can’t finish reading some of my favourite stories because the ethical problems upset her so much. And she used to worry whether she was evil. This post is for … Continue reading The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Sadists
