Dammit. Everything I said in my post on Jian Ghomeshi is true. But anger is not the way. People I respect have told me to try and hear others’ needs and wants instead. But dammit, this one is a sociopath! Ego, charm, obliviousness, contempt – I’m not a mental health professional, but I’ve never seen … Continue reading How Should We Respond to Sociopaths?
Jian Ghomeshi. The name makes me so angry. You say to your colleague, “I want to hate-fuck you,” and then you claim you’ve been fired for Safe Sane Consensual? You’re a professional communicator and somehow your partners keep walking into your home unaware that you’re going to whack their heads and choke them unconscious? You … Continue reading Jian Ghomeshi: Scum of the Earth
This month the BDSM Classics Reading Group read The Story of O by Pauline Réage. Faced with the prospect of rereading it yet again, I groaned and went for background reading instead. And wow. Now I want to be Pauline Réage! One day a girl in love said to the man she loved: “I too … Continue reading The Love Letter of O
Part 1 of this post reported on the second-most common complaint from tops, “Give me real reactions, dammit!” On behalf of all of us down here, I protested that we are good boys and girls and we are (mostly) not doing it on purpose. According to a kinky friend who wrangles minds for a living, … Continue reading You Want Reactions? (Part 2)
The number one top complaint is definitely “I can’t read your mind!” But it gets stiff competition from its close cousin: “Give me real reactions, dammit!” This I can sympathise with. Scening is all about what’s going on in the bottom’s head. Me and my kind naturally have privileged access to this contested territory, but … Continue reading You Want Reactions? (Part 1)
I am under Strong Encouragement to make an appeal for Patrick Califia’s medical needs. My response: “You mean I can do that? YES PLEASE LET ME OBEY.” As you probably know, he’s a trans writer-activist-therapist and a great-granddaddy of our community. About a week ago he finally gave his partner permission to explain that he … Continue reading Help Leather Granddaddy Patrick Califia!
Welcome to Elust #62 – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #63? Start with the rules, come back October1st to … Continue reading e[lust] #62 – Reality and Shame
I haven’t worn a bikini since age 4. Legs? What legs? I like my sleeves, too. Oh, and I don’t drink. Alcohol, coffee OR soft drinks. Ick. Obviously, I’m secretly Mormon, I just haven’t told me yet. Though I hear Mormons are allowed to wear more makeup than this. And dance. EYES I can’t look … Continue reading I’m Just Weird
Irregular updates from now on. Sorry, real life comes first! If you hang out with female kinksters, then you’ve heard us complain about the messages we get from strange men. They’re not all awful. But the net badness corrodes the soul. There are very few things that help: Venting with other kinky women. Talking to … Continue reading First Contact: A Sort‑of‑Guest Post
I love protocols. Do you want me to call you sir? Yes sir! (And apologies for the non-inclusive language, ma’am!) Do you want me on the floor? Prod me till I get the position right, please? Do you want me to heel you, or forget the word ‘but’, or owe every morsel of food to … Continue reading Protocols. I Want.
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