Comments on: When a Dom Drops Hard: Guest Post by Cowhideman

By: Xiao Yingtai

Xiao Yingtai — Fri, 01 Aug 2014 16:57:46 +0000

In reply to ValeryNorth. And now I am dying of curiosity. It sounds incredibly difficult to describe, but if you ever manage it, I'm all ears.

By: Xiao Yingtai

Xiao Yingtai — Fri, 01 Aug 2014 16:56:54 +0000

In reply to Madeleine Mitchell.

Being an ethical top sounds like my worst nightmare. Would it have helped to be reminded that a lot of us on the other side actually need you to enjoy being Mr. Hyde? When the door closes and I know I’m completely in someone’s power … it makes me so happy. But only if that someone is revelling in it too – and worthy of all that trust.

By: ValeryNorth

ValeryNorth — Fri, 01 Aug 2014 16:36:25 +0000

I think I’ve had a different path through the same landscape. I can find episodes or experiences that feel like parallels or analogues for the things described in the OP, but they either had different circumstances, or I reacted to them differently, sort of like coming to the same crossroads but from a different branch of the streets, so you need to read the map at a different angle, take a different turn (e.g. turn right instead of go straight on, to end up on the same road)

So I don’t really know which things relate in what ways to the OP, except to say that every element individually feels like something familiar, but the context is all different.

By: Madeleine Mitchell

Madeleine Mitchell — Fri, 01 Aug 2014 16:09:59 +0000

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Something similar happened to me – it was an almost existential experience, not to sound overly dramatic. And then, when it was done, I was terrified. It took me some time to come to terms with the fact that there are parts of me that are monstrous, and parts of me that aren’t and that there’s an equilibrium to the whole thing. Interestingly, a similar thing happened a while later when I started practicing Zen mediation more regularly. Barriers go down and perception becomes fluid and it can be really scary to see where you really are, (or aren’t), in all that.

This post took me right back to that initial shock and reminded me of how horribly hard that process was. I wish I’d had Cowhideman’s thoughts to meditate on at the time – they’re incredibly valuable.