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	<title>The view from up there &#8211; The University of Abject Submission</title>
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	<description>BDSM, books and missing links by Xiao Yingtai</description>
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		<title>My Emotional Masochism Isn&#8217;t Therapy</title>
		<link>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/</link>
					<comments>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Mar 2015 13:31:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6036</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Last week, guest blogger Cava Supernova asked, provocatively, &#8220;Is racism sexy?&#8221; She told us the story of an early kink encounter in which an awesome black man begged her to call him her nigger and her sex slave boy. This out-of-the-blue request floored poor Cava and she asked us to help her figure it out. &#8230; <a href="/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">My Emotional Masochism Isn&#8217;t Therapy</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Jian Ghomeshi: Scum of the Earth</title>
		<link>/jian-ghomeshi-scum-of-the-earth/</link>
					<comments>/jian-ghomeshi-scum-of-the-earth/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Oct 2014 07:56:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Reality Check]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5321</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Jian Ghomeshi. The name makes me so angry. You say to your colleague, &#8220;I want to hate-fuck you,&#8221; and then you claim you&#8217;ve been fired for Safe Sane Consensual? You&#8217;re a professional communicator and somehow your partners keep walking into your home unaware that you&#8217;re going to whack their heads and choke them unconscious? You &#8230; <a href="/jian-ghomeshi-scum-of-the-earth/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Jian Ghomeshi: Scum of the Earth</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/jian-ghomeshi-scum-of-the-earth/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>You Want Reactions? (Part&#160;2)</title>
		<link>/you-want-reactions-part-2/</link>
					<comments>/you-want-reactions-part-2/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Oct 2014 12:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to do it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5023</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Part 1 of this post reported on the second-most common complaint from tops, &#8220;Give me real reactions, dammit!&#8221; On behalf of all of us down here, I protested that we are good boys and girls and we are (mostly) not doing it on purpose. According to a kinky friend who wrangles minds for a living, &#8230; <a href="/you-want-reactions-part-2/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">You Want Reactions? (Part&#160;2)</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/you-want-reactions-part-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>First Contact: A&#160;Sort‑of‑Guest&#160;Post</title>
		<link>/first-contact/</link>
					<comments>/first-contact/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Aug 2014 02:35:51 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to do it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating & mingling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=4823</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Irregular updates from now on. Sorry, real life comes first! If you hang out with female kinksters, then you&#8217;ve heard us complain about the messages we get from strange men. They&#8217;re not all awful. But the net badness corrodes the soul. There are very few things that help: Venting with other kinky women. Talking to &#8230; <a href="/first-contact/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">First Contact: A&#160;Sort‑of‑Guest&#160;Post</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/first-contact/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Top Trust: Guest Post by Dr.&#160;Slut</title>
		<link>/top-trust/</link>
					<comments>/top-trust/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Dr. Slut]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Aug 2014 04:33:06 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=4544</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Today&#8217;s guest post is about an ethical top&#8217;s second-worst nightmare. Trigger warning: Rape role-play, pushing boundaries, hardcore knives. We’re so used to talking about bottoms trusting tops. It seems so obvious: if you’re going to let somebody beat you up, stab you with needles, shove a fist up your ass, whip you, dangle you by &#8230; <a href="/top-trust/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Top Trust: Guest Post by Dr.&#160;Slut</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/top-trust/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>When a Dom Drops Hard: Guest Post by Cowhideman</title>
		<link>/when-a-dom-drops-hard/</link>
					<comments>/when-a-dom-drops-hard/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cowhideman]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 Aug 2014 04:05:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=4521</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Today&#8217;s guest blogger is Cowhideman, the patient and prolific leader of FetLife&#8217;s Novices &#38; Newbies group (login required). Crucially for us, he&#8217;s also brave enough to talk about the glory and horror of topspace. Enjoy! In a recent discussion thread, someone mentioned that their relatively novice Dom has suddenly shut down and very nearly stopped &#8230; <a href="/when-a-dom-drops-hard/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">When a Dom Drops Hard: Guest Post by Cowhideman</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/when-a-dom-drops-hard/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>What Would Eric Pride Do?</title>
		<link>/what-would-eric-pride-do/</link>
					<comments>/what-would-eric-pride-do/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Jun 2014 04:01:02 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Eek!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=3885</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Eric Pride has left the community in the wake of pro-consent movements, stating that we have started tearing each other apart instead of standing by each other. I am sad that he is not who I thought he was. This post is part of the Eek! series. As you may recall, I recently volunteered to &#8230; <a href="/what-would-eric-pride-do/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">What Would Eric Pride Do?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/what-would-eric-pride-do/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Am I Part of the Problem?</title>
		<link>/am-i-part-of-the-problem/</link>
					<comments>/am-i-part-of-the-problem/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 May 2014 01:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Reality Check]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gender]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=3531</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Two months ago I called for BDSM bloggers to write about vanilla tragedies. Now the blogosphere is churning with horror at the UC Santa Barbara mass shooting by Elliot Rodger. But nobody seems to be answering the first question I asked myself: Am I part of the problem? I&#8217;m a straight submissive woman. I was &#8230; <a href="/am-i-part-of-the-problem/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Am I Part of the Problem?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/am-i-part-of-the-problem/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ariel Castro: The Psychopath in the Mirror?</title>
		<link>/ariel-castro-the-unheeded-call/</link>
					<comments>/ariel-castro-the-unheeded-call/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 29 Mar 2014 12:30:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Reality Check]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abjectsub.wordpress.com/?p=1623</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Help me, I&#8217;m Amanda Berry &#8230; I&#8217;ve been kidnapped, and I&#8217;ve been missing for ten years.&#8221; We all remember that 911 call last May. And then those terrible words in the news. Sex slavery. Chains, leashes. Torture. The stuff of our fantasies, now a spotlighted horrorhouse. It was so hard to hear about it. It &#8230; <a href="/ariel-castro-the-unheeded-call/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Ariel Castro: The Psychopath in the Mirror?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/ariel-castro-the-unheeded-call/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>15</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Review: &#8220;Anatomy of a Play Scene&#8221; by Eric Pride</title>
		<link>/anatomy-of-a-play-scene/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 23 Feb 2014 12:09:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to do it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abjectsub.wordpress.com/?p=361</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Eric Pride has left the community in the wake of pro-consent movements, stating that we have started tearing each other apart instead of standing by each other. I&#8217;m sad that he is not who I thought he was. Review of presentation: &#8220;Anatomy of a Play Scene&#8221; by Eric Pride (DomSubFriends at Paddles NYC, 21 Feb &#8230; <a href="/anatomy-of-a-play-scene/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Review: &#8220;Anatomy of a Play Scene&#8221; by Eric Pride</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Sadists</title>
		<link>/the-society-for-the-prevention-of-cruelty-to-sadists/</link>
					<comments>/the-society-for-the-prevention-of-cruelty-to-sadists/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Feb 2014 02:27:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abjectsub.wordpress.com/?p=14</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[One of my close friends is a sadist. Some of her favourite stories fall squarely into my definition of horror. She is also terminally warm-hearted. She can&#8217;t finish reading some of my favourite stories because the ethical problems upset her so much. And she used to worry whether she was evil. This post is for &#8230; <a href="/the-society-for-the-prevention-of-cruelty-to-sadists/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Sadists</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/the-society-for-the-prevention-of-cruelty-to-sadists/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>14</slash:comments>
		
		
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