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	<title>Relationships &#8211; The University of Abject Submission</title>
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	<link>/</link>
	<description>BDSM, books and missing links by Xiao Yingtai</description>
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		<title>Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 2</title>
		<link>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/</link>
					<comments>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Oct 2015 15:30:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6393</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Last time I told you about my feline identity crisis. I was afraid I wasn&#8217;t a kitten. Actually, it was worse than that. I was afraid I&#8217;d never been a kitten at all. Yes, I had done a lot of meowing and fun dashing around and studious ignoring of so-called rules. But observing myself post-breakup, &#8230; <a href="/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 2</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 1</title>
		<link>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/</link>
					<comments>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 Sep 2015 11:56:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6358</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[One day a kitten said to a kitten owner, &#8220;I wish I had a tail. But unfortunately I think I&#8217;m a Manx kitten.&#8221; Said he, &#8220;You can have a tail!&#8221; &#8220;But I want the kind of tail that the incredibly vain dog has in one of J.K. Rowling&#8217;s favourite books. It&#8217;s like an ostrich plume &#8230; <a href="/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 1</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Communicating While Submissive</title>
		<link>/communicating-while-submissive-in-full/</link>
					<comments>/communicating-while-submissive-in-full/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Jun 2015 11:30:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to do it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6268</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Originally written for Submissive Guide. Doms keep telling us that they&#8217;re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it&#8217;s hard! Especially when it&#8217;s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to say it. And you never have to compromise the message. Here is &#8230; <a href="/communicating-while-submissive-in-full/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Communicating While Submissive</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/communicating-while-submissive-in-full/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Submissive Strength: Contradiction or Koan?</title>
		<link>/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/</link>
					<comments>/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Feb 2015 05:01:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5884</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the fourth post in the Submissive Power series. Recently Valery North paid me the gigantic compliment of a critical response to my blog post about submissive strength. I came away wondering if I had contradicted myself. But dammit, I know everything I said was true! And then. I realised. These apparent contradictions, they’re &#8230; <a href="/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Submissive Strength: Contradiction or Koan?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Against Sapiosexual Pride</title>
		<link>/against-sapiosexual-pride/</link>
					<comments>/against-sapiosexual-pride/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Jan 2015 05:01:13 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Soapbox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating & mingling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5860</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[When I started out on FetLife, I encountered a lot of Worrying Things. Like the hordes of people declaring themselves to be sapiosexuals. My prejudice against sapiosexuality may surprise you. After all, I threw myself at the smartest guy I ever met. He enjoyed using my mind as much as he did my body. Our &#8230; <a href="/against-sapiosexual-pride/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Against Sapiosexual Pride</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/against-sapiosexual-pride/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Communicating While Submissive: Teaser</title>
		<link>/communicating-while-submissive/</link>
					<comments>/communicating-while-submissive/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Dec 2014 03:14:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to do it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5088</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Today I am a guest blogger on Submissive Guide! With an essay that was Written in Blood. Doms keep telling us that they&#8217;re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it&#8217;s hard! Especially when it&#8217;s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to &#8230; <a href="/communicating-while-submissive/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Communicating While Submissive: Teaser</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/communicating-while-submissive/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Protocols. I&#160;Want.</title>
		<link>/protocols-i-want/</link>
					<comments>/protocols-i-want/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:40:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=4714</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I love protocols. Do you want me to call you sir? Yes sir! (And apologies for the non-inclusive language, ma&#8217;am!) Do you want me on the floor? Prod me till I get the position right, please? Do you want me to heel you, or forget the word &#8216;but&#8217;, or owe every morsel of food to &#8230; <a href="/protocols-i-want/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Protocols. I&#160;Want.</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/protocols-i-want/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>14</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Love Poem for the Not‑So‑Polyamorous</title>
		<link>/a-love-poem-for-the-not-so-polyamorous/</link>
					<comments>/a-love-poem-for-the-not-so-polyamorous/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Aug 2014 04:01:13 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Buried Treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Poetry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=4612</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the first blog post I&#8217;ve been able to write in a month! Hurray! I am so not the right person to write about polyamory. I wasn&#8217;t born that way, and I have no success stories to share (yet). I can tell you not to do it with someone who has communication paralysis, or &#8230; <a href="/a-love-poem-for-the-not-so-polyamorous/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">A Love Poem for the Not‑So‑Polyamorous</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/a-love-poem-for-the-not-so-polyamorous/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Pain Is a Battering Bastard &#8230; And&#160;More (Part&#160;2)</title>
		<link>/pain-is-a-battering-bastard-and-more-part-2/</link>
					<comments>/pain-is-a-battering-bastard-and-more-part-2/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Jul 2014 11:30:32 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Buried Treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Poetry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scandalising the canon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=4445</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[To recap part 1 of this post: (1) Chronic pain can make even a masochist feel trapped in her body. (2) It&#8217;s just like the way my ex-dom and I felt locked in a miserable relationship. I may even have gotten all of my mixed metaphors into this tweet: I am SO GRATEFUL I&#8217;m finally &#8230; <a href="/pain-is-a-battering-bastard-and-more-part-2/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Pain Is a Battering Bastard &#8230; And&#160;More (Part&#160;2)</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/pain-is-a-battering-bastard-and-more-part-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Pain Is a Battering Bastard &#8230; And&#160;More (Part&#160;1)</title>
		<link>/pain-is-a-battering-bastard-and-more-part-1/</link>
					<comments>/pain-is-a-battering-bastard-and-more-part-1/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Jul 2014 11:05:25 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Buried Treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Poetry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scandalising the canon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=4431</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Once upon a time my dom was nursing me through some truly horrific cramps. I was not very lucid. A particularly vicious cramp took me by surprise, and I found myself whimpering our safeword. I will never forget the look on his face. To cheer us both up, he told me that I had a &#8230; <a href="/pain-is-a-battering-bastard-and-more-part-1/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Pain Is a Battering Bastard &#8230; And&#160;More (Part&#160;1)</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/pain-is-a-battering-bastard-and-more-part-1/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>What Would Eric Pride Do?</title>
		<link>/what-would-eric-pride-do/</link>
					<comments>/what-would-eric-pride-do/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Jun 2014 04:01:02 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Eek!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=3885</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Eric Pride has left the community in the wake of pro-consent movements, stating that we have started tearing each other apart instead of standing by each other. I am sad that he is not who I thought he was. This post is part of the Eek! series. As you may recall, I recently volunteered to &#8230; <a href="/what-would-eric-pride-do/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">What Would Eric Pride Do?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/what-would-eric-pride-do/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		
		
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