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	<title>Dating &amp; mingling &#8211; The University of Abject Submission</title>
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	<description>BDSM, books and missing links by Xiao Yingtai</description>
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		<title>Against Sapiosexual Pride</title>
		<link>/against-sapiosexual-pride/</link>
					<comments>/against-sapiosexual-pride/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Jan 2015 05:01:13 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Soapbox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating & mingling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[When I started out on FetLife, I encountered a lot of Worrying Things. Like the hordes of people declaring themselves to be sapiosexuals. My prejudice against sapiosexuality may surprise you. After all, I threw myself at the smartest guy I ever met. He enjoyed using my mind as much as he did my body. Our &#8230; <a href="/against-sapiosexual-pride/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Against Sapiosexual Pride</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
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			<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>First Contact: A&#160;Sort‑of‑Guest&#160;Post</title>
		<link>/first-contact/</link>
					<comments>/first-contact/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Aug 2014 02:35:51 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to do it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating & mingling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[Irregular updates from now on. Sorry, real life comes first! If you hang out with female kinksters, then you&#8217;ve heard us complain about the messages we get from strange men. They&#8217;re not all awful. But the net badness corrodes the soul. There are very few things that help: Venting with other kinky women. Talking to &#8230; <a href="/first-contact/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">First Contact: A&#160;Sort‑of‑Guest&#160;Post</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
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		<title>I Wish I&#8217;d Said That</title>
		<link>/i-wish-i-had-said-that/</link>
					<comments>/i-wish-i-had-said-that/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 27 Jul 2014 04:03:16 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Soapbox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I make you laugh?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating & mingling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gender]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[I usually update every 5 days. But my chronic aches have been bad. I&#8217;m officially out of pre-written posts. Will I manage another one by 1 August? Wish me luck! The French have a word for it: l&#8217;esprit d&#8217;escalier. Literally, staircase wit. The perfect retort that only occurs to you after it&#8217;s too late. But &#8230; <a href="/i-wish-i-had-said-that/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">I Wish I&#8217;d Said That</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
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			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>I&#8217;m Assertive Because I&#8217;m Weak &#8211;&#160;And Unashamed</title>
		<link>/i-am-assertive-because-i-am-weak/</link>
					<comments>/i-am-assertive-because-i-am-weak/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 09 Mar 2014 01:00:01 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating & mingling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gender]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[I have read that American women feel obliged to seem cheerful and friendly to strangers, even when they&#8217;re actually grumpy or scared. Not being American, this was difficult for me to believe until a domme friend told me about something terrifying that happened to her, just walking to the train station. Maybe you&#8217;ll think it &#8230; <a href="/i-am-assertive-because-i-am-weak/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">I&#8217;m Assertive Because I&#8217;m Weak &#8211;&#160;And Unashamed</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
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			<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>Review: CollarMe.com and My&#160;Off&#160;Switch</title>
		<link>/collarme-and-my-off-switch/</link>
					<comments>/collarme-and-my-off-switch/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Mar 2014 14:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[I Did It]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating & mingling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gender]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[Review of website: CollarSpace.com CollarMe.com (kinky personals). The morning after I signed up at CollarMe.com, I happened to start daydreaming about one of my favourite books, and a bolt of arousal shot through me. Normally this would not have been such a surprise, but I had believed I was dead between the legs due to &#8230; <a href="/collarme-and-my-off-switch/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Review: CollarMe.com and My&#160;Off&#160;Switch</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
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			<slash:comments>10</slash:comments>
		
		
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