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	<title>Clichés &#8211; The University of Abject Submission</title>
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	<description>BDSM, books and missing links by Xiao Yingtai</description>
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		<title>Sub Ethics: Owning Our Power</title>
		<link>/sub-ethics-owning-our-power/</link>
					<comments>/sub-ethics-owning-our-power/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 May 2015 08:00:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6215</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the fifth post in the Submissive Power series. Once upon a time there was a play-fight, and I was pinned. In my total inexperience, I shoved my elbow backwards, and hey presto, there was a long man on the floor. I didn&#8217;t know whether to laugh or to panic. It didn&#8217;t help when &#8230; <a href="/sub-ethics-owning-our-power/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Sub Ethics: Owning Our Power</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/sub-ethics-owning-our-power/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>My Emotional Masochism Isn&#8217;t Therapy</title>
		<link>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/</link>
					<comments>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Mar 2015 13:31:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6036</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Last week, guest blogger Cava Supernova asked, provocatively, &#8220;Is racism sexy?&#8221; She told us the story of an early kink encounter in which an awesome black man begged her to call him her nigger and her sex slave boy. This out-of-the-blue request floored poor Cava and she asked us to help her figure it out. &#8230; <a href="/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">My Emotional Masochism Isn&#8217;t Therapy</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Against Sapiosexual Pride</title>
		<link>/against-sapiosexual-pride/</link>
					<comments>/against-sapiosexual-pride/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Jan 2015 05:01:13 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Soapbox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating & mingling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5860</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[When I started out on FetLife, I encountered a lot of Worrying Things. Like the hordes of people declaring themselves to be sapiosexuals. My prejudice against sapiosexuality may surprise you. After all, I threw myself at the smartest guy I ever met. He enjoyed using my mind as much as he did my body. Our &#8230; <a href="/against-sapiosexual-pride/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Against Sapiosexual Pride</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/against-sapiosexual-pride/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Are You Strong Enough to Submit?</title>
		<link>/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/</link>
					<comments>/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Jan 2015 02:30:32 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5836</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the third post in the Submissive Power series. I hate clichés. Especially the way they end up being true after you scoff because no one explains why. So it took three teachers to convince me that submission is about strength. Let&#8217;s call them Gypsy, Queenie and Rex. Gypsy did not really believe in &#8230; <a href="/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Are You Strong Enough to Submit?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>You Want Reactions? (Part&#160;1)</title>
		<link>/you-want-reactions-part-1/</link>
					<comments>/you-want-reactions-part-1/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 28 Sep 2014 12:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to do it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5019</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[The number one top complaint is definitely &#8220;I can&#8217;t read your mind!&#8221; But it gets stiff competition from its close cousin: &#8220;Give me real reactions, dammit!&#8221; This I can sympathise with. Scening is all about what&#8217;s going on in the bottom&#8217;s head. Me and my kind naturally have privileged access to this contested territory, but &#8230; <a href="/you-want-reactions-part-1/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">You Want Reactions? (Part&#160;1)</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/you-want-reactions-part-1/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Consent Debate: Then&#160;and&#160;Now</title>
		<link>/the-consent-debate-then-and-now/</link>
					<comments>/the-consent-debate-then-and-now/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Aug 2014 04:01:19 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rec lists]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=4645</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I started a BDSM classics reading group! People actually signed up and everything! Squee! Ahem. For our first meeting on 3rd September, we&#8217;re going to read seminal essays from the Safe Sane Consensual debate. Unsafe at Any Speed, or Safe, Sane, and Consensual, My Fanny by Laura Antoniou (1995) The SSC Mistake by Joseph W. Bean &#8230; <a href="/the-consent-debate-then-and-now/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">The Consent Debate: Then&#160;and&#160;Now</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/the-consent-debate-then-and-now/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Consent Alone Is Not Enough: Guest&#160;Post by david&#160;stein</title>
		<link>/consent-alone-is-not-enough/</link>
					<comments>/consent-alone-is-not-enough/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[david stein]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Jun 2014 11:30:04 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=3970</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I asked david stein if this important essay has been posted anywhere outside FetLife, and he promptly gave me permission to repost it here.I don&#8217;t deserve the honour. This is the man who originated &#8220;Safe, Sane and Consensual&#8221; and much more.But let&#8217;s seize the chance to read the essay here and now, before I manage &#8230; <a href="/consent-alone-is-not-enough/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Consent Alone Is Not Enough: Guest&#160;Post by david&#160;stein</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/consent-alone-is-not-enough/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>First, Do No Harm: Guest&#160;Post&#160;by david&#160;stein</title>
		<link>/david-stein-on-ethics/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[david stein]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Jun 2014 11:30:56 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest posts]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=3750</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Today&#8217;s guest blogger is david stein, the gay slave who originated the phrase &#8220;Safe, Sane and Consensual&#8221; way back in the 1980s.(Brief recess to retrieve our jaws from the floor.)More recently, he authored the incredibly valuable non-fiction resource Ask the Man Who Owns Him: The real lives of gay Masters and slaves and the embarrassingly hot &#8230; <a href="/david-stein-on-ethics/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">First, Do No Harm: Guest&#160;Post&#160;by david&#160;stein</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Subverted Tropes: The Fiction of the Unexpected</title>
		<link>/subverted-tropes/</link>
					<comments>/subverted-tropes/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Feb 2014 05:05:43 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Buried Treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fiction for us]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rec lists]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abjectsub.wordpress.com/?p=12</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I love the traditional tropes of BDSM and slave fic &#8211; melting the dom&#8217;s dom, rescuing the fragile abused slave, Evil Is Sexy, mmmmm. But I also love it when authors turn these tropes inside out. Here are my favourites of this kind, fan fiction and original work, free and paid. They&#8217;re all completed works &#8230; <a href="/subverted-tropes/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Subverted Tropes: The Fiction of the Unexpected</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/subverted-tropes/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		
		
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