Comments on: I’m Assertive Because I’m Weak – And Unashamed

By: ScrewLooseHoney

ScrewLooseHoney — Thu, 13 Mar 2014 18:29:24 +0000

In reply to Yingtai. It would sure be nice if it was :P

By: JT

JT — Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:24:34 +0000

In reply to Yingtai. Ha! Very true!

By: Yingtai

Yingtai — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 23:53:04 +0000

In reply to JT. For ten good men, Sodom would have been saved!

By: JT

JT — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 11:02:29 +0000

It makes me very, very sad to realize that what you say is true of most American men.. It makes me feel even more alone in the world. Of the men I know only about 10% would sincerely apologize for overstepping a lady’s social boundaries.

But please do keep this in mind…there are still about 10% of us left! :)

By: Yingtai

Yingtai — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 00:20:23 +0000

In reply to ScrewLooseHoney.

Thank you – you have put your finger directly on the bit I fussed about! Here is what I concluded from the fussing, but didn’t include in the post:

(a) I don’t think men have to feel *more* powerful than women to be gentlemen. Women on an equal footing apologise to each other all the time. I think the key is not feeling so threatened about whatever power you do have.

(b) On male-female power gaps – I have to agree that gender equality in vanilla life would be a good thing. It makes better allowances for individuality and provides a necessary check on abuse. But I think we can also agree that there is a gap between what should be and what is. Currently men are still sexually privileged, and as long as that privilege exists, I want it to be used for good.

By: ScrewLooseHoney

ScrewLooseHoney — Tue, 11 Mar 2014 03:10:06 +0000

Really interesting post, especially to me as an American woman. When I think about how we treat male-female power gaps, I do see a big difference in the behavior expected from a Dom versus from just any man.

To me, that difference is a good thing, because in day-to-day life, I DO want to feel equal in power to a man. (When you say “I’ve also started to wonder if the problem is that these men don’t feel powerful,” I agree but I don’t think it is necessarily a problem.) ONLY within the special D/s agreement, both parties agree that one holds power over the other.

Anyway, I really enjoyed your take on this! Very thoughtful writing :)