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	<title>What makes us tick? &#8211; The University of Abject Submission</title>
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	<link>/</link>
	<description>BDSM, books and missing links by Xiao Yingtai</description>
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	<item>
		<title>Kink, pain and extreme sensation</title>
		<link>/kink-pain-and-extreme-sensation/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2024 04:00:48 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=10742</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[You know there are people who say sadism and masochism are not about pain, they&#8217;re about extreme sensation? After long covid, I&#8217;m pretty sure which side of this debate I&#8217;m on. On days when I have a little more energy, I want to feel my head wrenched back by my hair, I want to struggle &#8230; <a href="/kink-pain-and-extreme-sensation/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Kink, pain and extreme sensation</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<item>
		<title>What motivates 24/7 submission?</title>
		<link>/what-motivates-24-7-submission/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Apr 2020 00:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=7643</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Someone asked on Twitter about what motivates 24/7 subs. The replies went like this: Safety; Freedom from control, responsibility; Order, instruction, framework, accountability; Being useful to someone else, greater purpose; Intimacy. For me? Firstly, this is not a choice. This is something I find myself doing automatically. And when someone else wants it too, it &#8230; <a href="/what-motivates-24-7-submission/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">What motivates 24/7 submission?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 2</title>
		<link>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/</link>
					<comments>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Oct 2015 15:30:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6393</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Last time I told you about my feline identity crisis. I was afraid I wasn&#8217;t a kitten. Actually, it was worse than that. I was afraid I&#8217;d never been a kitten at all. Yes, I had done a lot of meowing and fun dashing around and studious ignoring of so-called rules. But observing myself post-breakup, &#8230; <a href="/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 2</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 1</title>
		<link>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/</link>
					<comments>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 Sep 2015 11:56:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6358</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[One day a kitten said to a kitten owner, &#8220;I wish I had a tail. But unfortunately I think I&#8217;m a Manx kitten.&#8221; Said he, &#8220;You can have a tail!&#8221; &#8220;But I want the kind of tail that the incredibly vain dog has in one of J.K. Rowling&#8217;s favourite books. It&#8217;s like an ostrich plume &#8230; <a href="/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 1</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>My Emotional Masochism Isn&#8217;t Therapy</title>
		<link>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/</link>
					<comments>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Mar 2015 13:31:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6036</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Last week, guest blogger Cava Supernova asked, provocatively, &#8220;Is racism sexy?&#8221; She told us the story of an early kink encounter in which an awesome black man begged her to call him her nigger and her sex slave boy. This out-of-the-blue request floored poor Cava and she asked us to help her figure it out. &#8230; <a href="/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">My Emotional Masochism Isn&#8217;t Therapy</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Guest Post: Is Racism Sexy?</title>
		<link>/guest-post-is-racism-sexy/</link>
					<comments>/guest-post-is-racism-sexy/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cava Supernova]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Mar 2015 12:58:32 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6022</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Today my guest blogger is the outrageous and huggable Cava Supernova! She&#8217;s here to tell us about her younger self being being Dropped in the Deep End. “Call me your n****r. Go on, it gets me going. I want you to call me your n****r.” “Oh my god, no. I could never do that.” “It’s &#8230; <a href="/guest-post-is-racism-sexy/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Guest Post: Is Racism Sexy?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/guest-post-is-racism-sexy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Submissive Strength: Contradiction or Koan?</title>
		<link>/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/</link>
					<comments>/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Feb 2015 05:01:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5884</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the fourth post in the Submissive Power series. Recently Valery North paid me the gigantic compliment of a critical response to my blog post about submissive strength. I came away wondering if I had contradicted myself. But dammit, I know everything I said was true! And then. I realised. These apparent contradictions, they’re &#8230; <a href="/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Submissive Strength: Contradiction or Koan?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Are You Strong Enough to Submit?</title>
		<link>/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/</link>
					<comments>/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Jan 2015 02:30:32 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5836</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the third post in the Submissive Power series. I hate clichés. Especially the way they end up being true after you scoff because no one explains why. So it took three teachers to convince me that submission is about strength. Let&#8217;s call them Gypsy, Queenie and Rex. Gypsy did not really believe in &#8230; <a href="/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Are You Strong Enough to Submit?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Submissive Power Is Hot Stuff</title>
		<link>/submissive-power-is-hot-stuff/</link>
					<comments>/submissive-power-is-hot-stuff/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jan 2015 05:01:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5807</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the second post in the Submissive Power series. It is a cliché that the sub has all the &#8220;real&#8221; power. And I really, really hope it&#8217;s not true. Yes, I can stop it any minute and yes, hotel security is a lot more likely to help me than him. (Apologies for non-inclusive language; &#8230; <a href="/submissive-power-is-hot-stuff/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Submissive Power Is Hot Stuff</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/submissive-power-is-hot-stuff/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>15</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>My Submissive Icons Are &#8230; Strong?!</title>
		<link>/my-submissive-icons-are-strong/</link>
					<comments>/my-submissive-icons-are-strong/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Jan 2015 13:30:25 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5675</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the first post in the Submissive Power series. Famed kink educator Midori has a brilliant exercise for identifying your style of feminine dominance. First, she says to list all the powerful women you admire – from fiction, film, history, myth, your family, everywhere, anywhere. She had Brunnhilde, RuPaul and her grandmother, among others. &#8230; <a href="/my-submissive-icons-are-strong/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">My Submissive Icons Are &#8230; Strong?!</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/my-submissive-icons-are-strong/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Condescension, or Kindness from Above</title>
		<link>/condescension-or-kindness-from-above/</link>
					<comments>/condescension-or-kindness-from-above/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Nov 2014 04:38:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5579</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I remember the day my first dom taught me to beg. My initial attempts were ludicrous. &#8220;Please, sir &#8230;&#8221; Frantic mental efforts, not aided by his casually travelling hands. &#8220;You&#8217;re &#8230; very strong &#8230;&#8221; I remember the moment when his gigantic brain figured out that I didn&#8217;t even know how to do it. He stopped, &#8230; <a href="/condescension-or-kindness-from-above/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Condescension, or Kindness from Above</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/condescension-or-kindness-from-above/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>12</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Definitions, Dammit</title>
		<link>/definitions-dammit/</link>
					<comments>/definitions-dammit/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 16 Nov 2014 13:04:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5499</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Argh. I&#8217;ve had it. It&#8217;s time for some definitions. Power = Ability to get what we want from others. Wants: Most obvious ≠ most important. Consent = The outcome of internal politics among our wants. That&#8217;s how dominant bottoms and masochistic doms can exist. Our wants may not line up tidily with the stereotypes, but &#8230; <a href="/definitions-dammit/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Definitions, Dammit</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/definitions-dammit/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Protocols. I&#160;Want.</title>
		<link>/protocols-i-want/</link>
					<comments>/protocols-i-want/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:40:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=4714</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I love protocols. Do you want me to call you sir? Yes sir! (And apologies for the non-inclusive language, ma&#8217;am!) Do you want me on the floor? Prod me till I get the position right, please? Do you want me to heel you, or forget the word &#8216;but&#8217;, or owe every morsel of food to &#8230; <a href="/protocols-i-want/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Protocols. I&#160;Want.</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/protocols-i-want/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>14</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<item>
		<title>Am I Just Selfish? Service vs. Control</title>
		<link>/am-i-just-selfish-service-versus-control/</link>
					<comments>/am-i-just-selfish-service-versus-control/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 29 Jun 2014 04:14:19 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=4066</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[When I first found out about service subs, I was politely un&#173;compre&#173;hend&#173;ing. No sex, no sensation, no humiliation even, why bother? Surely it would be less trouble to go to a nice restaurant and get served/hired? More authentic, too. Over time my confusion changed into awe and guilt. Probably because I tried to convert a &#8230; <a href="/am-i-just-selfish-service-versus-control/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Am I Just Selfish? Service vs. Control</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/am-i-just-selfish-service-versus-control/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>10</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Just Say No?</title>
		<link>/should-i-just-say-no/</link>
					<comments>/should-i-just-say-no/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 May 2014 07:58:09 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is it bad for me?]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=3150</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This post is part of the Is It Bad for Me? series. You may wish to begin with Part&#160;1. The critical reader may have noticed that I skipped over a pressing question in Abject Submission 3: Only the Gift. As you know, I realised to my surprise that some stories about emotional abuse were actually good for &#8230; <a href="/should-i-just-say-no/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Just Say No?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/should-i-just-say-no/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<item>
		<title>Humiliation Is the Most Intense Emotion?</title>
		<link>/humiliation-is-the-most-intense-emotion/</link>
					<comments>/humiliation-is-the-most-intense-emotion/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2014 01:52:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The ivory tower blushes]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=3229</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Did you know that Humiliation Studies is a thing? I didn&#8217;t! Sadly, these researchers have no interest in helping us to scene better. They&#8217;re in&#160;it because they consider humiliation to be at the heart of all kinds of social turmoil and global conflict. The underlying assumption, of course, is that humiliation is a particularly intense emotion. And &#8230; <a href="/humiliation-is-the-most-intense-emotion/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Humiliation Is the Most Intense Emotion?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/humiliation-is-the-most-intense-emotion/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Abject Submission 3: Only&#160;the&#160;Gift</title>
		<link>/abject-submission-3-only-the-gift/</link>
					<comments>/abject-submission-3-only-the-gift/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 03 May 2014 12:30:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is it bad for me?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=3006</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This post is part of the Is It Bad for Me? series. You may wish to begin with Part&#160;1. As you know, a few weeks ago I was frightened by my kink. I already knew I had been eroticising my depression last year &#8211; we emotional masochists are capable of amazing feats &#8211; but now I wondered if I had &#8230; <a href="/abject-submission-3-only-the-gift/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Abject Submission 3: Only&#160;the&#160;Gift</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
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			<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>Abject Submission 1: Is&#160;it&#160;bad&#160;for&#160;me?</title>
		<link>/is-abject-submission-bad-for-me/</link>
					<comments>/is-abject-submission-bad-for-me/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Apr 2014 12:30:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is it bad for me?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abjectsub.wordpress.com/?p=1846</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This post is Part&#160;1 of the Is It Bad for Me? series. I am shaken. So far, all the the shame and guilt you&#8217;ve seen in this blog should really have been in the past tense. I knew people needed to hear my stories, so I told them, but after sixteen years you do get &#8230; <a href="/is-abject-submission-bad-for-me/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Abject Submission 1: Is&#160;it&#160;bad&#160;for&#160;me?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
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			<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>Let&#8217;s Talk About Masochism</title>
		<link>/self-esteem-for-bottoms/</link>
					<comments>/self-esteem-for-bottoms/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Mar 2014 12:00:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abjectsub.wordpress.com/?p=1297</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[As you may remember, I have no shame about being female and therefore in a position of weakness. Nor do I feel particularly bad about being submissive and therefore wanting some such predicaments. But my masochism? Let&#8217;s not talk about it. No. Let&#8217;s talk about it. Masochism has a bad name. To the observer &#8211; &#8230; <a href="/self-esteem-for-bottoms/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Let&#8217;s Talk About Masochism</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
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			<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<item>
		<title>A Coming-Out Letter</title>
		<link>/coming-out-letter/</link>
					<comments>/coming-out-letter/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 28 Feb 2014 14:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abjectsub.wordpress.com/?p=480</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[BDSM: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. What does it feel like to need that kind of thing? One of my friends said, &#8220;It&#8217;s about fear, isn&#8217;t it?&#8221; Well, no, it&#8217;s not. I&#8217;m afraid of contact lenses and rollercoasters and they don&#8217;t do a thing for me. And I have been genuinely &#8230; <a href="/coming-out-letter/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">A Coming-Out Letter</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
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			<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Sadists</title>
		<link>/the-society-for-the-prevention-of-cruelty-to-sadists/</link>
					<comments>/the-society-for-the-prevention-of-cruelty-to-sadists/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Feb 2014 02:27:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://abjectsub.wordpress.com/?p=14</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[One of my close friends is a sadist. Some of her favourite stories fall squarely into my definition of horror. She is also terminally warm-hearted. She can&#8217;t finish reading some of my favourite stories because the ethical problems upset her so much. And she used to worry whether she was evil. This post is for &#8230; <a href="/the-society-for-the-prevention-of-cruelty-to-sadists/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Sadists</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
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			<slash:comments>14</slash:comments>
		
		
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