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	<title>Xiao Yingtai &#8211; The University of Abject Submission</title>
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	<link>/</link>
	<description>BDSM, books and missing links by Xiao Yingtai</description>
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	<item>
		<title>Hello and goodbye again</title>
		<link>/hello-and-goodbye-again/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Sep 2024 11:53:32 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Bloggery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=11037</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m moving for real this time! My web hosting company hiked up their fees. So I&#8217;m going to convert this blog to a static archive and park it somewhere much cheaper. The archiving process will happen over the next two weeks or so. The website should keep working from your point of view, minus search, &#8230; <a href="/hello-and-goodbye-again/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Hello and goodbye again</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Kink, pain and extreme sensation</title>
		<link>/kink-pain-and-extreme-sensation/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2024 04:00:48 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=10742</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[You know there are people who say sadism and masochism are not about pain, they&#8217;re about extreme sensation? After long covid, I&#8217;m pretty sure which side of this debate I&#8217;m on. On days when I have a little more energy, I want to feel my head wrenched back by my hair, I want to struggle &#8230; <a href="/kink-pain-and-extreme-sensation/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Kink, pain and extreme sensation</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Experiment over</title>
		<link>/experiment-over/</link>
					<comments>/experiment-over/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 19 May 2024 08:23:55 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Bloggery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=10744</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Remember I said I was going to try moving to another blog as an experiment? It&#8217;s been over six months now, and the experiment is over. I&#8217;m going to close that blog down and come back here. I started the other blog because there hasn&#8217;t been a lot of abject submission in my life since &#8230; <a href="/experiment-over/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Experiment over</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/experiment-over/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hello and goodbye</title>
		<link>/hello-and-goodbye/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Oct 2023 12:19:30 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Bloggery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=10403</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Hello, old friends. It&#8217;s been a very long time. And I&#8217;m afraid you may not like my news. I&#8217;m starting a new blog because it doesn&#8217;t feel right to come back here. I still love this old place. I made it to delight my eyes and it does just that. The tags and 404 page &#8230; <a href="/hello-and-goodbye/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Hello and goodbye</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>What motivates 24/7 submission?</title>
		<link>/what-motivates-24-7-submission/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Apr 2020 00:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=7643</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Someone asked on Twitter about what motivates 24/7 subs. The replies went like this: Safety; Freedom from control, responsibility; Order, instruction, framework, accountability; Being useful to someone else, greater purpose; Intimacy. For me? Firstly, this is not a choice. This is something I find myself doing automatically. And when someone else wants it too, it &#8230; <a href="/what-motivates-24-7-submission/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">What motivates 24/7 submission?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>e[lust] #76 &#8211; Sex After Birth</title>
		<link>/elust-76/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Nov 2015 04:49:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[e[lust]]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6424</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Welcome to Elust #76 &#8211; The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you&#8217;re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it&#8217;ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #75? Start with the rules, come back November 1st &#8230; <a href="/elust-76/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">e[lust] #76 &#8211; Sex After Birth</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 2</title>
		<link>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/</link>
					<comments>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Oct 2015 15:30:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6393</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Last time I told you about my feline identity crisis. I was afraid I wasn&#8217;t a kitten. Actually, it was worse than that. I was afraid I&#8217;d never been a kitten at all. Yes, I had done a lot of meowing and fun dashing around and studious ignoring of so-called rules. But observing myself post-breakup, &#8230; <a href="/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 2</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 1</title>
		<link>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/</link>
					<comments>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 Sep 2015 11:56:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6358</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[One day a kitten said to a kitten owner, &#8220;I wish I had a tail. But unfortunately I think I&#8217;m a Manx kitten.&#8221; Said he, &#8220;You can have a tail!&#8221; &#8220;But I want the kind of tail that the incredibly vain dog has in one of J.K. Rowling&#8217;s favourite books. It&#8217;s like an ostrich plume &#8230; <a href="/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Introducing the Abject Kitten, Part 1</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/introducing-the-abject-kitten-part-1/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Rough Draft: Raven&#8217;s Nest</title>
		<link>/rough-draft-ravens-nest/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Jul 2015 12:40:56 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Calligraphy]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6327</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[No time to blog deep thoughts! I&#8217;ve been working on my second-ever commissioned piece. A slave friend has ordered this for her master, Sir Raven, and it&#8217;s SO MUCH FUN. How often do I get to do both English and Chinese in the same piece? And the perfect amount of text! Here&#8217;s the mockup I &#8230; <a href="/rough-draft-ravens-nest/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Rough Draft: Raven&#8217;s Nest</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Beatings Will Continue</title>
		<link>/the-beatings-will-continue/</link>
					<comments>/the-beatings-will-continue/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Jul 2015 16:40:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Calligraphy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I make you laugh?]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6308</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[The silent auction was cancelled. :( But I kind of promised you guys. So here it is! And thank you, TES Fest, for Making Me Do It. Sort of. :p &#160;]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/the-beatings-will-continue/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Vote on Calligraphy!</title>
		<link>/vote-on-calligraphy/</link>
					<comments>/vote-on-calligraphy/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Jun 2015 12:27:18 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Calligraphy]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6284</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m going to do a piece of calligraphy for charity. You see, I&#8217;m going to TES Fest next weekend. They&#8217;re having a silent auction to raise funds for the Leather Heart Foundation and NCSF. Both great causes! But I&#8217;m not sure what I should write. Please help me decide? 1. Beatings quote &#8220;The beatings will &#8230; <a href="/vote-on-calligraphy/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Vote on Calligraphy!</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/vote-on-calligraphy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Communicating While Submissive</title>
		<link>/communicating-while-submissive-in-full/</link>
					<comments>/communicating-while-submissive-in-full/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Jun 2015 11:30:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to do it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6268</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Originally written for Submissive Guide. Doms keep telling us that they&#8217;re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it&#8217;s hard! Especially when it&#8217;s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to say it. And you never have to compromise the message. Here is &#8230; <a href="/communicating-while-submissive-in-full/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Communicating While Submissive</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/communicating-while-submissive-in-full/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sub Ethics: Owning Our Power</title>
		<link>/sub-ethics-owning-our-power/</link>
					<comments>/sub-ethics-owning-our-power/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 May 2015 08:00:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6215</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the fifth post in the Submissive Power series. Once upon a time there was a play-fight, and I was pinned. In my total inexperience, I shoved my elbow backwards, and hey presto, there was a long man on the floor. I didn&#8217;t know whether to laugh or to panic. It didn&#8217;t help when &#8230; <a href="/sub-ethics-owning-our-power/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Sub Ethics: Owning Our Power</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/sub-ethics-owning-our-power/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Leather Writing Awards 2015</title>
		<link>/leather-book-awards-2015/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 May 2015 12:08:57 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Buried Treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fiction for us]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NLA-I awards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rec lists]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6118</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This announcement is old (20 April), but I thought you might appreciate a linked version. The 👍 emoji indicates finalists, the 🏆 emoji winners. Enjoy! SEMI-FINALISTS ANNOUNCED FOR 2015 NLA-I WRITING AWARDS (Columbus, OH) — National Leather Association &#8211; International (NLA-I), a leading organization for activists in the pansexual SM/leather/fetish community, announced today the semi-finalists &#8230; <a href="/leather-book-awards-2015/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Leather Writing Awards 2015</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Apologise When You&#8217;re Called&#160;Out</title>
		<link>/how-to-apologise-when-you-are-calledout/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 10 May 2015 07:03:01 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to do it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6160</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good day &#8211; until 6.20pm. Man on the street: Hello. [He gets a stare compounded of fury and trauma.] Him: Is something wrong? Me: You&#8217;re the second guy on the street who&#8217;s said hello to me today. And it doesn&#8217;t feel good. That was the low point of the &#8230; <a href="/how-to-apologise-when-you-are-calledout/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">How to Apologise When You&#8217;re Called&#160;Out</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<item>
		<title>It&#8217;s a Bad Day for Rope Consent</title>
		<link>/it-is-a-bad-day-for-rope/</link>
					<comments>/it-is-a-bad-day-for-rope/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Apr 2015 05:03:09 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Safety & Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Safety]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6123</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m troubled by the recent consent violation news in the FetLife rope community. I need to clear a crazy work deadline before I write about it, but I thought I would at least share the reports with you for now. Please note that you will need a FetLife login (it&#8217;s free). And if you want &#8230; <a href="/it-is-a-bad-day-for-rope/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">It&#8217;s a Bad Day for Rope Consent</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/it-is-a-bad-day-for-rope/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<item>
		<title>Video Special: Is It Safe for Work?</title>
		<link>/video-special-is-it-safe-for-work/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Mar 2015 12:39:15 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Buried Treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I make you laugh?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Off‑topic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Roundups]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6103</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve had enough psychoanalysis for the moment. For a change, shall we watch my favourite maybe-not-quite-safe-for-work videos? First, the legendary Gypsy Rose Lee. A comedienne first, an ecdysiast second. And then there&#8217;s Sadie the bellydancer too. How do you make bellydancing demure and understated? I don&#8217;t know! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YamDoDK71Ds I know these hula dancers are not &#8230; <a href="/video-special-is-it-safe-for-work/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Video Special: Is It Safe for Work?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<item>
		<title>My Emotional Masochism Isn&#8217;t Therapy</title>
		<link>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/</link>
					<comments>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Mar 2015 13:31:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The vanilla dialogues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from up there]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=6036</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Last week, guest blogger Cava Supernova asked, provocatively, &#8220;Is racism sexy?&#8221; She told us the story of an early kink encounter in which an awesome black man begged her to call him her nigger and her sex slave boy. This out-of-the-blue request floored poor Cava and she asked us to help her figure it out. &#8230; <a href="/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">My Emotional Masochism Isn&#8217;t Therapy</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/emotional-masochism-is-not-therapy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<item>
		<title>Please Master by Allen Ginsberg</title>
		<link>/please-master-by-allen-ginsberg/</link>
					<comments>/please-master-by-allen-ginsberg/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Mar 2015 12:34:59 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Buried Treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Poetry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scandalising the canon]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5994</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Warning: Strong language. GRAPHIC language. Squick and squee. I invite you to partake of the riches of beat poetry. Please do NOT open this at work. Now I&#8217;m going to run and hide. Please Master Please master can I touch your cheek please master can I kneel at your feet please master can I loosen &#8230; <a href="/please-master-by-allen-ginsberg/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Please Master by Allen Ginsberg</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/please-master-by-allen-ginsberg/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<item>
		<title>Marketplace Q&#038;A with Laura Antoniou</title>
		<link>/marketplace-q-and-a-with-laura-antoniou/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 Feb 2015 12:26:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Buried Treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fiction for us]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest posts]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5962</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[When Laura Antoniou heard that the BDSM Classics Reading Group was discussing her novel The Marketplace, she offered to come over to our FetLife group to answer our questions. WOW. Now that&#8217;s fan service! We are repaying her generosity with the toughest questions we could manage. Thank you so much, Laura! 1. Not all of &#8230; <a href="/marketplace-q-and-a-with-laura-antoniou/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Marketplace Q&#038;A with Laura Antoniou</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>elust #67 Makes Me Happy</title>
		<link>/elust-67-makes-me-happy/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Feb 2015 05:33:44 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[e[lust]]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5937</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Welcome to Elust #67 &#8211; The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you&#8217;re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it&#8217;ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #68? Start with the rules, come back March 1st &#8230; <a href="/elust-67-makes-me-happy/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">elust #67 Makes Me Happy</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>Happy Valenniversary to Me!</title>
		<link>/happy-valenniversary-to-me/</link>
					<comments>/happy-valenniversary-to-me/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Feb 2015 12:07:29 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Bloggery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5925</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Happy Valentine&#8217;s Day from a happy single! It&#8217;s almost exactly a year since I walked out of my ex&#8217;s apartment with my head reeling. Not coincidentally, it&#8217;s also just about a year since I started blogging. There is causality there, but it&#8217;s not what you&#8217;d expect. I think blogging gave me the strength to say &#8230; <a href="/happy-valenniversary-to-me/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Happy Valenniversary to Me!</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/happy-valenniversary-to-me/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>Submissive Strength: Contradiction or Koan?</title>
		<link>/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/</link>
					<comments>/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Feb 2015 05:01:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5884</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the fourth post in the Submissive Power series. Recently Valery North paid me the gigantic compliment of a critical response to my blog post about submissive strength. I came away wondering if I had contradicted myself. But dammit, I know everything I said was true! And then. I realised. These apparent contradictions, they’re &#8230; <a href="/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Submissive Strength: Contradiction or Koan?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/submissive-strength-contradiction-or-koan/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>Against Sapiosexual Pride</title>
		<link>/against-sapiosexual-pride/</link>
					<comments>/against-sapiosexual-pride/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Jan 2015 05:01:13 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Soapbox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating & mingling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5860</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[When I started out on FetLife, I encountered a lot of Worrying Things. Like the hordes of people declaring themselves to be sapiosexuals. My prejudice against sapiosexuality may surprise you. After all, I threw myself at the smartest guy I ever met. He enjoyed using my mind as much as he did my body. Our &#8230; <a href="/against-sapiosexual-pride/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Against Sapiosexual Pride</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/against-sapiosexual-pride/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>Are You Strong Enough to Submit?</title>
		<link>/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/</link>
					<comments>/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Jan 2015 02:30:32 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Clichés]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Devil on my back]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5836</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the third post in the Submissive Power series. I hate clichés. Especially the way they end up being true after you scoff because no one explains why. So it took three teachers to convince me that submission is about strength. Let&#8217;s call them Gypsy, Queenie and Rex. Gypsy did not really believe in &#8230; <a href="/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Are You Strong Enough to Submit?</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/are-you-strong-enough-to-submit/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>Submissive Power Is Hot Stuff</title>
		<link>/submissive-power-is-hot-stuff/</link>
					<comments>/submissive-power-is-hot-stuff/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jan 2015 05:01:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abject submission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Favourites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Since feeling is first]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5807</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the second post in the Submissive Power series. It is a cliché that the sub has all the &#8220;real&#8221; power. And I really, really hope it&#8217;s not true. Yes, I can stop it any minute and yes, hotel security is a lot more likely to help me than him. (Apologies for non-inclusive language; &#8230; <a href="/submissive-power-is-hot-stuff/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Submissive Power Is Hot Stuff</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/submissive-power-is-hot-stuff/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>15</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>My Submissive Icons Are &#8230; Strong?!</title>
		<link>/my-submissive-icons-are-strong/</link>
					<comments>/my-submissive-icons-are-strong/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Jan 2015 13:30:25 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[What makes us tick?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buried treasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Submissive power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5675</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[This is the first post in the Submissive Power series. Famed kink educator Midori has a brilliant exercise for identifying your style of feminine dominance. First, she says to list all the powerful women you admire – from fiction, film, history, myth, your family, everywhere, anywhere. She had Brunnhilde, RuPaul and her grandmother, among others. &#8230; <a href="/my-submissive-icons-are-strong/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">My Submissive Icons Are &#8230; Strong?!</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/my-submissive-icons-are-strong/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		
		
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		<title>Resolutions: Looking Back, Looking Forward</title>
		<link>/resolutions-looking-back-looking-forward/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Jan 2015 03:10:53 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[TMI]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5752</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Ah, New Year resolutions. I wasn&#8217;t going to make any. But then Sciophilous inspired me, and I realised that I&#8217;ve been making resolutions all along. This is a good time to record them. In this past year, I resolved to: 1) Accept that I tend to be a slave in relationships, and change from being &#8230; <a href="/resolutions-looking-back-looking-forward/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Resolutions: Looking Back, Looking Forward</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>2014: Don&#8217;t Lose the Answers</title>
		<link>/2014-dont-lose-the-answers/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 01 Jan 2015 01:45:34 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Bloggery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Roundups]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5724</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I have a confession. My favourite reading matter is this very blog. But I swear, it’s not just because I am so vain! It’s also because my memory is a sieve. It’s so bad that once when I was asked for a personal motto, I immediately ad-libbed, “Question Everything. Don’t Lose the Answers.” It’s particularly &#8230; <a href="/2014-dont-lose-the-answers/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">2014: Don&#8217;t Lose the Answers</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>Communicating While Submissive: Teaser</title>
		<link>/communicating-while-submissive/</link>
					<comments>/communicating-while-submissive/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Xiao Yingtai]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Dec 2014 03:14:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[How to do it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The view from down here]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=5088</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Today I am a guest blogger on Submissive Guide! With an essay that was Written in Blood. Doms keep telling us that they&#8217;re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it&#8217;s hard! Especially when it&#8217;s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to &#8230; <a href="/communicating-while-submissive/" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="screen-reader-text">Communicating While Submissive: Teaser</span> <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		
					<wfw:commentRss>/communicating-while-submissive/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
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