Category Archives: Safety & Ethics

First, Do No Harm: Guest Post by david stein

Today’s guest blogger is david stein, the gay slave who originated the phrase “Safe, Sane and Consensual” way back in the 1980s.(Brief recess to retrieve our jaws from the floor.)More recently, he authored the incredibly valuable non-fiction resource Ask the Man Who Owns Him: The real lives of gay Masters and slaves and the embarrassingly hot … Continue reading First, Do No Harm: Guest Post by david stein

Am I Part of the Problem?

Two months ago I called for BDSM bloggers to write about vanilla tragedies. Now the blogosphere is churning with horror at the UC Santa Barbara mass shooting by Elliot Rodger. But nobody seems to be answering the first question I asked myself: Am I part of the problem? I’m a straight submissive woman. I was … Continue reading Am I Part of the Problem?

Ariel Castro: The Psychopath in the Mirror?

“Help me, I’m Amanda Berry … I’ve been kidnapped, and I’ve been missing for ten years.” We all remember that 911 call last May. And then those terrible words in the news. Sex slavery. Chains, leashes. Torture. The stuff of our fantasies, now a spotlighted horrorhouse. It was so hard to hear about it. It … Continue reading Ariel Castro: The Psychopath in the Mirror?

I’m Assertive Because I’m Weak – And Unashamed

I have read that American women feel obliged to seem cheerful and friendly to strangers, even when they’re actually grumpy or scared. Not being American, this was difficult for me to believe until a domme friend told me about something terrifying that happened to her, just walking to the train station. Maybe you’ll think it … Continue reading I’m Assertive Because I’m Weak – And Unashamed