When I started out on FetLife, I encountered a lot of Worrying Things. Like the hordes of people declaring themselves to be sapiosexuals. My prejudice against sapiosexuality may surprise you. After all, I threw myself at the smartest guy I ever met. He enjoyed using my mind as much as he did my body. Our … Continue reading Against Sapiosexual Pride
This is the third post in the Submissive Power series. I hate clichés. Especially the way they end up being true after you scoff because no one explains why. So it took three teachers to convince me that submission is about strength. Let’s call them Gypsy, Queenie and Rex. Gypsy did not really believe in … Continue reading Are You Strong Enough to Submit?
This is the second post in the Submissive Power series. It is a cliché that the sub has all the “real” power. And I really, really hope it’s not true. Yes, I can stop it any minute and yes, hotel security is a lot more likely to help me than him. (Apologies for non-inclusive language; … Continue reading Submissive Power Is Hot Stuff
This is the first post in the Submissive Power series. Famed kink educator Midori has a brilliant exercise for identifying your style of feminine dominance. First, she says to list all the powerful women you admire – from fiction, film, history, myth, your family, everywhere, anywhere. She had Brunnhilde, RuPaul and her grandmother, among others. … Continue reading My Submissive Icons Are … Strong?!
Ah, New Year resolutions. I wasn’t going to make any. But then Sciophilous inspired me, and I realised that I’ve been making resolutions all along. This is a good time to record them. In this past year, I resolved to: 1) Accept that I tend to be a slave in relationships, and change from being … Continue reading Resolutions: Looking Back, Looking Forward
I have a confession. My favourite reading matter is this very blog. But I swear, it’s not just because I am so vain! It’s also because my memory is a sieve. It’s so bad that once when I was asked for a personal motto, I immediately ad-libbed, “Question Everything. Don’t Lose the Answers.” It’s particularly … Continue reading 2014: Don’t Lose the Answers
Today I am a guest blogger on Submissive Guide! With an essay that was Written in Blood. Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to … Continue reading Communicating While Submissive: Teaser
I remember the day my first dom taught me to beg. My initial attempts were ludicrous. “Please, sir …” Frantic mental efforts, not aided by his casually travelling hands. “You’re … very strong …” I remember the moment when his gigantic brain figured out that I didn’t even know how to do it. He stopped, … Continue reading Condescension, or Kindness from Above
Welcome to Elust #64 – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #65? Start with the rules, come back December 1st … Continue reading e[lust] #64 – Molly picked me!
Argh. I’ve had it. It’s time for some definitions. Power = Ability to get what we want from others. Wants: Most obvious ≠ most important. Consent = The outcome of internal politics among our wants. That’s how dominant bottoms and masochistic doms can exist. Our wants may not line up tidily with the stereotypes, but … Continue reading Definitions, Dammit
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